“Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.”

— Edsger Dijkstra

Java is write once, run away.

Java is the new COBOL.

Java is object oriented. So that make it automatically.

Stupid syntax

>Car car = new Car

public class HelloWorld {

    public static void main(String[] args) {
        // Prints "Hello, World" to the terminal window.
        System.out.println("Hello, World");


I’m sure the “public class” and “public static void” aren’t really necessary. That just makes the code more confusing

System.out.println? Jesus that’s stupid

The stupid concepts of object programming language

>Every object inherits implicity from Object
>Object doesn’t have a new method that can be used by any object

As we really care about… I don’t really know what they care about, you can’t change the object attributes from outside the class, so you have to create, for each object attribute, 2 methods, one to get the value of the attribute and other to set the value of the attribute. I don’t know who the fuck thought this was an smart idea (But I don’t really think changing an object’s attribute is a good idea, unless it’s something specific like a linked list and you need the len, in which case you can simply set the thing as public)

Virtual machine

Sooo. You have to run a virtual machine to run any program made in Java. Why?

The programmer was too lazy to port the software to other operating system. So what they did is the following:

  1. Download the Java Development Kit
  2. Download the Java Runtime Environment
  3. Download an IDE (This is perfectly okay though)
  4. Compile the program to the Java Virtual Machine shit
  5. Run a virtual machine to run a Hello World program
  6. Make everyone run a virtual machine to run that program.

Alternatives to Java